Day 21...Living a life for You is the only life to live

The last official day…well, sort of.  This fasting experience has completely challenged us in ways we never imagined.  Making out our grocery store list for the weekend, we realized that we are going to continue this journey…for God.  We aren’t going to become vegans or anything, even though I totally get the desire for that now.  But, we are only going to bring back a few of the things we missed during this journey…a few milk products, a small amount of sugar, and some chocolate.  But, overall, this has truly been a game-changer.  Doing something for God for 21 days has been the coolest experience.  I had no idea that I would get this much from it or spend this kind of quality time in His presence.

     I have learned so much about myself throughout the last three weeks.  It is so sad to think I am almost forty-years-old, and I am still figuring out how much more I need to seek You.  I thought I was doing such a good job, living in Your presence, talking to You all day long, asking for Your plan to be my plan…but somehow I think I missed the part when You were in charge of me.  I have learned to lose control of pretty much everything, of course, I also found out that I never had control anyway.  (Big breakthrough, there…) My soul finally understands what it means to rest in Your presence and to allow You to work in such a great degree that I cannot imagine going back to the old me.  I know that the world will tempt me , engage me, and mess me up over and over again…but I will continue to be drawn back to You letting You lead me, guide me, mold me, and focus my energy into Your plan for my life.  I am even more excited to see what happens in the coming days now that I have my own choices to make again.  It was easy to rely on You and make sacrifices for You for the past three weeks.  I wanted to please You, so now I get to please you more while I struggle with my own free-will.  I know that no matter what I do, You will always be there holding my hand…reminding me that I am Your daughter…telling me that You made me for Your purpose…loving me…and that is all I need.  Thank you God for leading us to this point in our lives…for giving us such a desire to know You…for allowing us to be bold for You…and for showing me that living a life for You is the only life to live.

Day 20...

And God said (in Zechariah 7:6), “You’re interested in religion, I’m interested in people.”

Shouldn’t that be what comes from my heart every day…I am interested in people.  People that you made in Your beautiful image.  Today I want to reflect on the ways that You have softened my heart and the influence that You have on me to treat everyone the way that You would treat them.  I never want to take the gifts You have placed within me and turn them into a wasteland of negative thoughts and behaviors.  I have never believed that is how You want my life to look to anyone.  When Lily and I pray each morning before school together, we always ask for God to allow us to be His light into this world…and for others to recognize our happiness as purely being straight from God’s crazy, reckless love for all of His children. My prayer today is that You help me to truly live a life of Your love to all others around me, allowing me to see them through Your eyes. 

Day 19...in the morning

I have learned to seek You more through the last 19 days!  How delighted I am to wake up with You beside me ready to guide me through another day.

Psalm 84: 10-12

One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches.  I’d rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.  All sunshine and sovereign is God, generous in gifts and glory.  He doesn’t scrimp with his traveling companions.  It’s smooth sailing all the way with God-of-the-Angel-Armies. 

Yes, even in the midst of walking through “Fire”- when God is on Your side, who could possibly be against you.  I have a feeling I might be humming this tune all day long…I would rather spend one day in Your house, than thousands elsewhere…than thousands elsewhere…

Lily's Homework

At church, Lily has been learning about how it is extremely important to honor God...and not money.  They are also talking about how important it is to ask God for the things you want before actually spending your money.  So, one of her assignments this week was to make a wish list of the five things that she wants...and then pray about them asking God if she really needs them. 
  I had to share her list...we especially thought #5 was really great!
 ( Yes, she did write the whole thing all by herself!)

Lily’s Wish List for God

1.  A big stuffed animal-probably Eeyore

2.  A Disney princess necklace

3. Some clips from Kroger

4. Ken and Barbie

5.To do the Daniel fast every week

 

Day 18...after school

I am so thankful for this day…You have shown up over and over again today. 

 1)  I have gotten to be Bold for You today.  That was totally awesome!

2)  You fixed a big problem I had this morning without me even asking!

3) You have comforted me today which I really needed, assuring me that things I needed to do today were for the best for my students. 

4)  Probably my favorite part of today was receiving a call from Jamie.  He said that while he was watching his friend eat at Chick-fil-a today (their weekly hang-out) a server came up to him telling Jamie that she had heard a word from God, and amazingly enough- He needed her to tell us.  Now, you have to understand that I am a concrete believer- God knows me & clearly He is okay with my old testament ways.  She continued with His message to us and said “The Fire has been kindled.”   Yesterday, there was a "Fire" and we kept talking about the fact that we were walking through it with God right beside us. 

     Father God- I don’t even know how to begin to thank you…I don’t have words or thoughts that could even begin to recognize how truly remarkable, incredible, and astounding that Your love is…to rescue me from worry with a stranger’s words…You are too amazing for mere words!  My heart longs to praise you all day long. Thank you for today…for showing up…for speaking through others…and for never leaving me!

Day 18...in the morning

I need your mercy, compassion, and unfailing love today- Father God- open my eyes to everything You want me to see and open my ears to everything You want me to hear.  Make me and mold me into the daughter that You created me to be.  Thank you for the past 18 days that You have given me to focus solely on You and allow me to finish these last 4 fasting days strong within Your presence and power.  Surge into me, God, like a rapid pounding earthquake and awaken my very soul to what You would have me to experience and learn each day…not just for the remainder of the fast, but for the remainder of my earthly life as Your creation.    

Day 17

(Daniel 3)  Either God was going to deliver them or they would willingly die in His service…they were going to bow or burn…and what did the son of God do- He walked with them through the flames.  I want to always believe with boldness that God- my God- will be with me in the fire every single time. 

Today has not been the best day.  I hate to even admit that.  I woke up a little fussy, but I quickly started praising before my feet even hit the shower.  Yet, as the day progressed, it was a total rollercoaster ride of stressful moments and plans that I honestly don’t want any part of.  Why is it that work seems to zap all of the good out of me at times?   I can’t believe that I manage to let my job take all of the JOY right out of my life- a job which I have always loved in the past.  Regardless, I kept thinking about what those boys (in Daniel) did all day today…standing there in the face of the King telling him that they were not going to bow down to him…and they were so faithful.  I so wanted that this morning as I left for school- I wanted to be so faithful.  Yet, once again, no matter how much I tried- I was faithless today.  I let school get to me…again.  Then, on top of that, I let other things outside of school worry me.  It has been 17 days, and here I am…right back in the same place I was two weeks ago—lost, wandering, and weary…

But, wait…there is hope today.  Because I know that no matter how far off I wander- there is this awesome God that loves me with this crazy, reckless love who will come find me no matter where I go and He will meet me right where I am…

I am so thankful that I have Him to lean on even when I have these yucky days.  So thankful…even now I have to smile because HE loves me even though today I was not His child…I was a child of the world.  Don’t be of this world, Stephanie- just be in this world.  Clearly, I need about a million more days to FASt!  :0)