Day 18...in the morning

I need your mercy, compassion, and unfailing love today- Father God- open my eyes to everything You want me to see and open my ears to everything You want me to hear.  Make me and mold me into the daughter that You created me to be.  Thank you for the past 18 days that You have given me to focus solely on You and allow me to finish these last 4 fasting days strong within Your presence and power.  Surge into me, God, like a rapid pounding earthquake and awaken my very soul to what You would have me to experience and learn each day…not just for the remainder of the fast, but for the remainder of my earthly life as Your creation.    

Day 17

(Daniel 3)  Either God was going to deliver them or they would willingly die in His service…they were going to bow or burn…and what did the son of God do- He walked with them through the flames.  I want to always believe with boldness that God- my God- will be with me in the fire every single time. 

Today has not been the best day.  I hate to even admit that.  I woke up a little fussy, but I quickly started praising before my feet even hit the shower.  Yet, as the day progressed, it was a total rollercoaster ride of stressful moments and plans that I honestly don’t want any part of.  Why is it that work seems to zap all of the good out of me at times?   I can’t believe that I manage to let my job take all of the JOY right out of my life- a job which I have always loved in the past.  Regardless, I kept thinking about what those boys (in Daniel) did all day today…standing there in the face of the King telling him that they were not going to bow down to him…and they were so faithful.  I so wanted that this morning as I left for school- I wanted to be so faithful.  Yet, once again, no matter how much I tried- I was faithless today.  I let school get to me…again.  Then, on top of that, I let other things outside of school worry me.  It has been 17 days, and here I am…right back in the same place I was two weeks ago—lost, wandering, and weary…

But, wait…there is hope today.  Because I know that no matter how far off I wander- there is this awesome God that loves me with this crazy, reckless love who will come find me no matter where I go and He will meet me right where I am…

I am so thankful that I have Him to lean on even when I have these yucky days.  So thankful…even now I have to smile because HE loves me even though today I was not His child…I was a child of the world.  Don’t be of this world, Stephanie- just be in this world.  Clearly, I need about a million more days to FASt!  :0) 

Little Miss Lily

Since I haven't posted pictures in FOREVER...just thought you might want to see how Miss Lily is growing up.  She is such an amazing young lady...always kind...always smiling...always happy.  I couldn't be more blessed to get to be her Mama and her First Grade Teacher this year.  I also have to brag just a little bit about her...she is reading up a storm.  She has read over 58,000 words this year through our AR program, and she is reading books on a 2nd-3rd grade reading level.  We are both so proud of her!  She is an absolute gift from God!

She is also part of our KidRave Worship Team at church.  At some point, I will post some pictures of her on stage.  She loves to praise God all of the time, and I am so thankful that FP has this wonderful program where she is able to dance and sing on stage for God every weekend! 

Yes, she is awesome!  I thank God every day for giving us such a terrific, beautiful, blessed daughter!

Day 16...Fearless

It seems that everything is pointing me toward being Fearless today.  It has come to me from all directions…from our new Group 1 Crew download on my ipod to my reading plan for today…also in my thoughts…and clearly lived out throughout my life- fear is something that I have dealt with daily for many years.  Fear of losing everything- after losing my Mom, fear of not giving enough to those who I cherish and hold so dear, fear of death, fear of accidents, fear of failure, fear of defeat, fear of not being good enough for You or for anyone…Fear.  It is a terrible thing, and I know exactly who fear comes from.  So today- I am choosing to be Fearless in YOU.  I am choosing to seek You…just for You…not for what you can do for me, but for who You are.  I am seeking You to seek Your love for me, and I am choosing to ask for nothing more.  Thank you God for reminding me today that in You- I can be Fearless and in You- I can be loved.  I don’t have to ask you for anything more than just being in Your great, amazing, abundance of love.  That is something that I think I often forget…I spend more time worrying, being scared, and asking You for help- instead of Fearlessly enjoying just being at Your feet!

Psalm 27: 4-5 from The Message

I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with Him in His house my whole life long.!  I’ll contemplate his beauty, I’ll study as His feet.  That’s the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world, The perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic.

Day 15

As I enter into the last week of fasting for you, I have to admit that this weekend was hard.  It was a constant rebellion with food and my body.  I am so delighted to have changed the way we have eaten, to have given up desires for you…but my mind is rebelling.  It keeps telling me about the things I am missing.  So, there has been a struggle here that I did not expect.  Regardless, I am leaning on You…focusing on You…and praying to You knowing that You will bring me through this easily.  I keep reminding myself that if it weren’t hard- it wouldn’t be worth doing.  I am enjoying this struggle while I lean on You to carry me.  I have learned (once again) that laying my burdens down at Your feet makes me feel so complete.  I am so thankful that You know me…know my name…and that you sent Your perfect son to wipe away my sins so that I could have a direct line to You- to speak to You, listen to You, and praise You every day. 

   Keep me strong this week, God.  I need You.  Use this week to cleanse me from the inside out…begin a fresh start in me where you make a Genesis week out of the chaos of my life.  Unbutton my lips so that I can sing your praises every day for the rest of my life!  I love you with everything I am.

Day 14

Counting my blessings…I am amazed at all of the things as I look around me that are all Yours, but yet You have shared them with me.  How kind and generous You are!  There are so many things that I am thankful for today, and I am spending the day thanking you for every single thing that comes to mind.  So, basically we will be having a conversation all day long today! 

    Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  Everything belongs to You!  Remind me to always see You at work in everything in my life…and to know that even when I can’t even understand what You are up to that there is a blessing from You around every corner.

Fasting...Day 12

Father God-- please use this experience with suffering to remove anything in my life that has taken the Holy Spirit's place as my Comforter. I know that I have used shopping and food to comfort me in times of need, as well as using television as an escape from the hectic day-t0-day existence that stresses me out.  Please allow me to see those things for what they are, and remind me to always seek you First and foremost in every situation.

Note:  Eating this way is not really suffering.  My body, even with shingles, feels better than it has felt in years!  However, there are moments of temptation when I do crave some Godiva chocolate covered strawberries or coconut truffles.  But, I remind myself that it is simply something else that I have found pleasure in…and I want to seek all pleasure from You!